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 Post subject: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:57 am 
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titles are too mainstream.
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Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:59 pm
Posts: 4579
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Wisconsin
This is for the 2011 season. If you want help on your non-limited prep speeches, post a request.

I need some help with my DI. It's about 12 minutes long and it really doesn't flow. At all. If anyone would like to read it over and offer some advice, I will be your biggest fan.

I'm willing to critique other people's speeches as well. Especially after the first week of February since my qualifiers will be over by then.

_________________
Somehow Your blood makes You blind
To our divide
I am all Yours

David Roth wrote:
you make my life hell.


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:22 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:35 pm
Posts: 2440
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Omaha, NE
If anyone wants me to critique their speeches, I'd be happy to. My forte is interp.

My experience:
Competed in the NCFCA for two years, qualifying for nats in speech both years
Ironman at regionals and two qualifiers my senior year, marathonish (4 speeches and debate) at another
Broke four interps (HI, duo, 2 OIs) to regionals my senior year
Coach in Omaha for a year--I focused on four speeches, all of which broke at regionals, two of which finaled

Thanks to the lack of NCFCA presence in Michigan I haven't been able to do much this year. Email me if you want some script critiques--my email in bbrooks@hillsdale[dot]edu

_________________
-Bryan
Assistant Mock Trial Coach, University of Nebraska at Omaha


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:10 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:28 pm
Posts: 2874
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: I'm not lost! I'm locationally challenged. -John M. Ford
Oookay. I have a persuasive that needs critiqued. Also, I am writing an OO that may be a little out of my league (trying to make it hilarious, and I've never done that before. I figured that this is my last year to try it, so I'm gonna go for it).

Would anyone be willing to help? Thanks!

_________________
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Henry Kissinger


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:18 am 
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melancholy milkshakes. no straws.
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Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:31 pm
Posts: 3964
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Hinnom, TX
Interps are my cup o' tea. I've been around good interps for years, and I've done some nice ones myself. So hit me with anything anytime, but my schedule is a little crazy right now, so it might take me a while to get a critique back right away. One to two weeks is probably going to be the name of the game.

Cheers

_________________
Joe Hughey
joehughey24@gmail.com

Two roads diverged in a wood and I -
I took the one less traveled
And that has made all the difference


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 4:45 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2009 1:46 am
Posts: 678
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: I can't think of anything witty right now...so...RIX
I need a critique on a Humorous Interp. Formatting, cutting, etc. Any and ALL feedback is appreciated. This is my first time so I need advice on SS, etc. I have a qualifier next week.

Love is a Fallacy
Cool was I and logical. Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute—I was all of these. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, precise as a chemist’s scales, as penetrating as a scalpel. And—think of it!—I was only eighteen.
LOVE IS A FALLACY by MAX SHULMAN
It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows, my roommate at the university. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox. Nothing upstairs.
One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis. “Don’t move...Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get a doctor.”
PETEY: “Raccoon!”
ME: “Raccoon?”
PETEY: “I should have known it! I should have known they’d come back. Like a fool I spent all my money for textbooks, and now I can’t get a raccoon coat.”
ME: “Can you mean that people are actually wearing raccoon coats again?”
PETEY: “All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where’ve you been?”
ME: “In the library,” naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.
PETEY: “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat, I’ve got to!”
ME: “Petey, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much. They’re unsightly. They—”
PETEY: “You don’t understand. It’s the thing to do. I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”
ME: My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. “Anything?”
PETEY: “Anything,”
ME [To Audience]: It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a raccoon coat. It also happened that Petey had something I wanted...I was a freshman in law school. In a few years I would be out in practice. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career. The successful lawyers I had observed were, almost without exception, married to beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly.
Beautiful she was. Gracious she was. Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered in the opposite direction. But I believed that under my guidance she would smarten up.
ME: “Petey. Are you in love with Polly Espy?”
PETEY: “I think she’s a keen kid, but I don’t know if you’d call it love. Why?”
ME: “In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open. Is that right?”
PETEY: “I guess so. What are you getting at?”
ME: “Nothing, nothing,”
PETEY: “Where are you going?”
ME: “Home for the weekend.”
PETEY: “Listen, while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so I can buy a raccoon coat?”
ME: “I may do better than that,”
........
ME: “Look!”
PETEY: “Holy Toledo!”
PETEY: “Holy Toledo!”
ME: “Would you like it?
PETEY: “Oh yes!”
PETEY: “What do you want for it?”
ME: “Your girl.”
PETEY: “Polly?”
PETEY [after a gasp]: “You want Polly?”
ME: “That’s right.”
PETEY: “What’s Polly to me – nothing!”
.....
I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I had gravely underestimated the size of my task. This girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough merely to supply her with information. First she had to be taught to think.
ME: “Poll’,” I said to her when I picked her up on our date, “tonight we are going over to the Knoll and talk.”
POLLY: “Oo, terrif,”
We went to the Knoll, sat down under an old oak, and she looked at me expectantly.
POLLY: “What are we going to talk about?”
ME: “Logic.”
POLLY [after deliberation]: “Magnif,”
ME: “Logic is the science of thinking. Before we can think correctly, we must first learn to recognize the common fallacies of logic. These we will take up tonight.”
POLLY: “Wow-dow!”
ME: “First let us examine the fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter.”
POLLY: “By all means.”
ME: “Dicto Simpliciter means an argument based on an unqualified generalization. For example: Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should exercise.”
POLLY: “I agree. I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and everything.”
ME: “Polly, the argument is a fallacy. Exercise is good is an unqualified generalization. For instance, if you have heart disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are ordered by their doctors not to exercise. You must qualify the generalization. You must say exercise is usually good, or exercise is good for most people. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simpliciter. Do you see?”
POLLY: “No...But this is marvy. Do more! Do more!”
ME: “It will be better if you stop tugging at my sleeve...Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty Generalization. Listen carefully: You can’t speak French. Petey Bellows can’t speak French. I must therefore conclude that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French.”
POLLY: “Really? Nobody?”
ME [exasperated]: “Polly, it’s a fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily. There are too few instances to support such a conclusion.”
POLLY: “Know any more fallacies? This is more fun than dancing even.”
I fought off a wave of despair. I was getting nowhere with this girl, absolutely nowhere. I consulted my watch.
ME: “I think we’d better call it a night. I’ll take you home now, and you go over all the things you’ve learned. We’ll have another session tomorrow night.”
Seated under the oak the next evening I said, “Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam. Listen closely...A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming.”
POLLY: “Oh, this is awful, awful,”
ME: “Yes, it’s awful, but it’s no argument. The man never answered the boss’s question about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?”
POLLY [still blubbering]: “Have you got a handkerchief?”
I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep from screaming while she wiped her eyes.
ME: “Next, we will discuss False Analogy. Here is an example: Students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons have X-rays to guide them during an operation, lawyers have briefs to guide them during a trial, carpenters have blueprints to guide them when they are building a house. Why, then, shouldn’t students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?”
POLLY: “There now. That is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.”
ME: “Polly, the argument is all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren’t taking a test to see how much they have learned, but students are. The situations are altogether different, and you can’t make an analogy between them.”
POLLY [confused but insistent]: “I still think it’s a good idea,”
One more chance, I decided. But just one more.
ME: “The next fallacy is called Poisoning the Well.”
POLLY: “How cute!”
ME: “Two men are having a debate. The first one gets up and says, ‘My opponent is a notorious liar. You can’t believe a word that he is going to say.’ ... Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What’s wrong?”
POLLY: [she knit her creamy brow in concentration. Suddenly a glimmer of intelligence] “It’s not fair,” “It’s not a bit fair. What chance has the second man got if the first man calls him a liar before he even begins talking?”
ME [disbelieving but excited]: “Right!”
ME: “One hundred per cent right. It’s not fair. The first man has poisoned the well before anybody could drink from it. He has hamstrung his opponent before he could even start ... Polly, I’m proud of you.”
POLLY: “Pshaws,”
ME: “You see, my dear, these things aren’t so hard. All you have to do is concentrate. Think—examine—evaluate. Come now, let’s review everything we have learned.”
POLLY: “Fire away,”
Five grueling nights with this it took, but it was worth it. I had made a logician out of Polly; I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was worthy of me, at last. The time had come to change our relationship from academic to romantic.
ME: “Polly...tonight we will not discuss fallacies.”
POLLY: “Aw, gee,”
ME [patronizing]: “My dear, we have now spent five evenings together. We have gotten along splendidly. It is clear that we are well matched.”
POLLY: “Hasty Generalization,”
ME [taken aback]: “I beg your pardon,”
POLLY: “Hasty Generalization...How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates?”
ME [chuckling and still patronizing]: “My dear...five dates is plenty. After all, you don’t have to eat a whole cake to know that it’s good.”
POLLY: “False Analogy...I’m not a cake. I’m a girl.”
ME [uneasy chuckle and switch to audience]: The dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well. I decided to change tactics. Obviously the best approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain chose the proper word.
ME: “Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to me, the moon and the stars and the constellations of outer space. Please, my darling, say that you will go steady with me, for if you will not, life will be meaningless. I will languish. I will refuse my meals. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling, hollow-eyed hulk.”
POLLY: “Ad Misericordiam,”
ME [perspiring and stressed]: “Polly, you mustn’t take all these things so literally. I mean this is just classroom stuff. You know that the things you learn in school don’t have anything to do with life.”
POLLY [playfully]: “Dicto Simpliciter,”
ME [shouting]: “Will you or will you not go steady with me?”
POLLY [defiant]: “I will not,”
ME: “Why not?”
POLLY: “Because this afternoon I promised Petey Bellows that I would go steady with him.”
ME [reeling and shocked, to audience]: After he promised, after he made a deal, after he shook my hand!
ME [shrieking to Polly]: “The rat! You can’t go with him, Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.”
POLLY: “Poisoning the Well...and stop shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too.”
ME [seething and falsely calm]: “All right...You’re a logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Bellows over me? Look at me—a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at Petey—a knothead, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go steady with Petey Bellows?”
POLLY: “I certainly can! He’s got a raccoon coat.”

_________________
http://siftingthroughmythoughts.blogspot.com/

08-09 | Thomas/Young | Broke to Regionals
09-10 | Brake/Thomas | Broke to Nats
10-11 | Black/Thomas | Won Regionals, 7th at Nats
11-12 | Comfort/Thomas | Won 2 Qualifiers, Won Regionals
12-13 | LD Debater | 3rd overall in RIX, 7th at Nats


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 4:55 pm 
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titles are too mainstream.
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Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:59 pm
Posts: 4579
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Wisconsin
Thank you to speaker4him and jasonmontgomery28 for their help on my DI. I really appreciate it.

I've qualified to regionals in everything except TI. And my last qualifier is in two days. So, if anyone would like to look over it, you certainly may. And if you have tips and stuff, that's great too. : )

_________________
Somehow Your blood makes You blind
To our divide
I am all Yours

David Roth wrote:
you make my life hell.


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:35 am 
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THE Cookie Monster!
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Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:43 am
Posts: 2599
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: where no one knows my name
I'd really appreciate it if someone took a look at my OO--"Plastic Perfection." It's approximately five seconds over time, so I don't need help cutting. I'm just looking for something to make it pop. The topic is really important to me, so I want to figure out what I can do to portray the message as influentially as I can to as many people as possible.

_________________
Brenna Bakke, Veritas CA
Adorable Speecher | gr8 debate timer | 08-09
Bakke/Ruscigno | TP <3 | 09-10
Bakke/Bakke | TP <3 | 10-11
Bakke/Van Ness | TP <3 | 11-13
Sad Brenna | LD ew | 13-14
PHC Student | wow such college deb8 | 14&beyond


You're not alone.


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:04 am 
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Doesn't have a title.
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Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:47 pm
Posts: 2954
Home Schooled: Yes
I need critiques on my persuasive on the Omphalos hypothesis. It's about 120 words too long and I'm concerned that the third point might not be explained sufficiently. So, I need to make it more concise and clarify the third point.

The tournament is in 9 days, so I need help soon.

_________________
Jordan Bakke


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:15 am 
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Laugh, or I will kill you
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Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:33 pm
Posts: 2492
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: College in San Diego Baby!
I just wrote an HI, and I wanna know wut ppl's think :)

my email is debateme13@gmail.com

_________________
+X wrote:
Oh, come now, Daniel. Your mafia playing habits make you a no-good double-crossing manipulative liar. But I would never call you a jerk!

;) <3


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:26 am 
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Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:15 am
Posts: 52
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Oregon
revgirl wrote:
I'd really appreciate it if someone took a look at my OO--"Plastic Perfection." It's approximately five seconds over time, so I don't need help cutting. I'm just looking for something to make it pop. The topic is really important to me, so I want to figure out what I can do to portray the message as influentially as I can to as many people as possible.



PM me, I'm best at platforms so I hope I can be a lot of help!


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:47 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:09 pm
Posts: 274
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: R8
So I broke in TI at the last tournament and am trying to figure out how to step up my quality before regionals. I wrote one of my selections and I am having a lot of trouble getting making it interesting... I would like to dialog and active narration, but I am not a creative writer. :(


PM me if you would be willing to look over it.

_________________
- E2

think logically and wear converse.


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 8:25 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:07 am
Posts: 10
Home Schooled: Yes
looking for critique on my DI. I've done better in past years with more intense pieces, but did barely manage to qualify for nats with this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqVsVi9XXJI

I'd be so happy with any kind of feedback you've got for me!

message me if you'd like to see the script too.

_________________
{you can't silence my love.}


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:52 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:40 pm
Posts: 578
Home Schooled: Yes
I would like some tips for my DI. The narrator is a 13 year old boy so any pointers on how to act more like a guy would be extremely helpful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rSmQKcI2dg
When I recorded this video I hadn't practiced my speech for two weeks and was kinda out of it 'cause I ate something I was allergic to, so this isn't exactly what my speech normally looks like. But it is good enough.

_________________
~Natalie


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:01 pm 
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Kenya debate as good as me?
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Joined: Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:06 am
Posts: 1926
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: In your head.
I wrote a persuasive about economic freedom/utilitarianism, and I'm really bad at making things understandable to people who don't know a lot about the topics I'm speaking on, so, I'd really appreciate advice/critiques :D

_________________
I desire to know nothing but Christ and him crucified.

SDG.


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 6:29 pm 
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Bumble! Bumble!
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:30 pm
Posts: 1150
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Bumbling about in beautiful Colorado
I have an Original Interp on... myself... anyways, I'd really like some CC. If you wouldn't mind looking over it, please email me: veronica.bumblebee[at]gmail[dot]com
:)

_________________
My guideline is, if you ever have to ask yourself if you're doing something creepy, you probably are. But then go ahead and do it anyway because being creepy is fun.
~JeremyB


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 7:01 pm 
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melancholy milkshakes. no straws.
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Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:31 pm
Posts: 3964
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Hinnom, TX
Bee wrote:
I have an Original Interp on... myself... anyways, I'd really like some CC. If you wouldn't mind looking over it, please email me: veronica.bumblebee[at]gmail[dot]com
:)

Just facebooked you

And I'm trying to cook up an Original Interp myself, so I'll be sure to post something when I finish it

_________________
Joe Hughey
joehughey24@gmail.com

Two roads diverged in a wood and I -
I took the one less traveled
And that has made all the difference


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 7:21 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:05 pm
Posts: 45
Home Schooled: Yes
Hey I have a duo and a HI that need to be cut way down, so any advice or critiques would be welcome...

I'm just kinda tired of looking at them and would like a fresh set of eyes to look it over...

thanks in advance


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:17 pm 
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Forerunner
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Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:45 am
Posts: 1090
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Locations are too mainstream
teampolicyunicycler wrote:
Hey I have a duo and a HI that need to be cut way down, so any advice or critiques would be welcome...

I'm just kinda tired of looking at them and would like a fresh set of eyes to look it over...

thanks in advance


PM me, I can help with that.

_________________
Former NCFCA debate and speech competitor
Former homeschooler
Joel Thomas


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:29 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:36 am
Posts: 128
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: lurking in the shadows
Hi all!
I am writing a speech and I just wanted to get some critiques on it

also I am trying to adapt this speech to a different league and the time needs to be cut in half.
Please pm me if you can critique it.
P.S. by the way its about mars (but not the mars your thinking about)

_________________
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
When life gives you lemons, make abstract lemon art. Life won’t expect that.


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 Post subject: Re: Speech Critiques
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:02 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:04 pm
Posts: 298
Home Schooled: Yes
Location: Ironmanning! :D
I just finished my original interp, and would love some feedback on it :) Just send me a pm and I'll get it to you.
Thanks!!

_________________
Rebekah <3
My Blog


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